Last week New Secret Man and I were in the kitchen, cooking and dancing to Dreadlock Holiday (me dancing, NSM cooking) when we heard an unexpected...
An unexpected knock at my door
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Blog posts on: Friendships
Breaking up with friends who drain you (again)
In the past few months I’ve made the challenging decision (again) to break up with a friend or two. At the start of Covid I became really...
What to do when both you and your mate throw your toys out of the cot, and both of you are too stubborn to reconvene
This morning my friend sent me a text that was so passive aggressive that Neville immediately announced "Well fuck him, dismissive prick, we’re done...
How to stop buggering up our friendships with insecurities
I had a friend who I treated very badly because of my insecurity. I’ll call her Jess. I was seethingly envious of Jess. I was certain she wasn’t...
How to handle competition and envy in female friendships
In the last few weeks, a friend of mine has completely shifted the way I think about the subtle jealousy and competition that lurks around in the...
How to make more authentic friendships
A week ago, sitting with a glass of wine in a little cobbled laneway in southern Spain with two women I’d only ever spent a couple of hours with in...
Overzealous conversation-fairness alarms & chatty cathys
Yesterday I hung out with a friend who loves to talk. We hung out, she talked, I listened. Slowly my listening turned to sort-of-listening. Then...
How to let go of resentment
Yesterday I bluntly asked my close friend when he paused for breath “Hey, how come you rarely ask me any questions? Are you aware that over the last...
How to make better friendships, even when you suck at them a bit
On a Sunday I found myself lying in the dark crying completely unexpected tears as I relayed my thought process to a friend. I was away with a group...
How to be less socially awkward and stop being side-slapped by unexpected emotions
Recently in an EMDR session with a psychologist, she asked me to write down the 10 worst experiences in my life. Rainbows and butterflies ensued. Of...
A deceptively simple trick for when your mind grabs the self loathing stick
Last night as I got half way down the street from dropping a friend at her house, I noticed that there was a war of hatred going on in my head....
Sketching-out that your mates will see your bad side?
Over the weekend Bloody Good Chap came to meet me after I hung out with three girlfriends at the beach, and as we walked along the gritty sand...
How to get over really really boilingly strong anger and hurt
Last year a friend hurt me worse than anyone's hurt me in years. As I was stomping around shouting, Bloody Good Chap commented "Wow, I've never seen...
How to make the moon your limit
Living on a superyacht I was around a lot of swearing; it became my norm and I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a string of words that might make another...
How to stop those non-smiling people from taking over your mind
Lately I’ve been feeling hurt and tantrummy at the number of people that I smile at who return my bright smile with a cold, dull eyed, nothing. I’ve...
Is Facebook stealing your mates?
In the past year I have started to accept the fact that many of my less-close friends and acquaintances tend not to ask me much about my life, or...
A “should” is not a friend you want to have
Lately I’ve been really looking at my friendships and working out which ones bring us both value, and which ones are obligation/...
How to be more like that legend that everyone wants to talk to
Last night with three friends over for dinner I realised that every time I talk for more than 5 seconds, Neville is there in my head shouting...
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