Sheesh, that's honest...

How to find your bloody elusive passion

Happiness & Fulfilment, Making Decisions & Finding Passion

7 years ago if you’d asked me what my passion was, I would have made up some bollocks about blending the mathematical, practical side of architecture with the conceptual creative side, which would segue into telling you that I have an architecture degree so that you’d know I was a practical, intelligent person, not a stupid blonde.

I would have wanted you to think I was intelligent, because that was how I’d divert you from realising that I had no idea who I was and I had no particular passion for anything.

My charisma was nowhere to be seen.

In its place was a facade of over-thinking, people-pleasing, and trying to fit into a mould of the person I thought I should be.

I felt lost, and like a complete failure – other people seemed to know what they wanted from life, why didn’t I?

I knew that if I could just find my passion, I would feel more alive, less numb. I would leap out of bed in the mornings rather than groaning. I would be more charismatic like the passion-fueled people I’d met before, rather than constantly worrying whether I was being boring.

But the road to finding my passion turned out to be way more confusing and roller-coastery than expected.

I nearly gave up one million times.

I ignored many clues that could have shown me my passions because I thought my passion would need to become my career, which eliminated so many options.

I ignored more clues because I thought I’d surely need to be awesome at the thing that I was passionate about, and I didn’t want to spend the time and money doing a whole other degree.

Then when I finally found few things I was interested in, my lack of confidence held me back from doing anything about it.

I was riddled with fear – of failure, of overwhelm, and of what others would think of me.

From working with hundreds of people in a similar conundrum, I’ve realised that this is way more common than I once thought.

Most of us aren’t taught how to find our sense of self or how to get clear on what we value most.

So we go looking outside ourselves, in jobs, partners, possessions, achievements, and successes.

Without a clear sense of our values, we find ourselves funnelled into a life that looks similar to the lives of everyone around us, even if we’re not really sure that’s the best option for us.

We start climbing up ladders wondering when the elusive fulfilment will come. Or we jump out of that life, like I did, but end up more lost and confused than ever.

The fulfilment doesn’t seem to come either way, I’m sure you’ve noticed by now – no matter what you achieve, no matter what you acquire, the satisfaction is only short lived. Then we’re onto the next thing, constantly seeking pleasure and fulfilment through external things and other people.

But there’s a part of us wondering all along -is this it? Is this what I want? Who the F am I?

Then the enormity of those questions overwhelm us so we put our head down again and keep running along whichever path we find ourselves on.

The most important part of living a bloody good life is to know what a bloody good life means for you.

What really fulfils you. Where’s the compass to orient you in your journey through life?

The compass is our gut instinct.

What we call “values” are the words we use to label the things our gut instinct feels strongly about.

Our values are an amazing filter by which to narrow down those big, annoying as hell decisions so we can

stop accidentally doing what everyone else wants us to do and orient our lives towards what we ACTUALLY want.

Learning about my mind-made identity, which I discovered over the course of a year of researching, self development and practicing mindfulness, helped me get free from all the mind-made garbage that was holding me stuck in fear.

By following my values, sidestepping the fear tied up in my identity, and learning to follow my curiosity, I found my way (by way of a million zig zags) to the most epic, fulfilling life I could have imagined, where I write this to you from a cafe overlooking one of my favourite beaches in Byron Bay, breakfast taco in one hand, keyboard (sort of) in the other.

Far too turmericy latte standing by. Probably won’t be drinking it actually, way too healthy tasting.

I now have a number of passions – some I am lucky enough to have turned into my job, others, like building furniture and hanging out with boxer dogs, I do in my spare time. Usually during the work week though, because working for yourself rocks like that. Hello Bunnings!

More than anything I want to help you find your way through the brain fog, fear and expectations to find your own version of an epic life, because I know you’ve got something awesome in you that is well and truly fed up of staying hidden in the cobwebby corners of your self.

I’ve done this process with many of my 1-1 clients, and now I’ve turned it into a program to help you get clear on your values, understand the identity that’s holding you stuck, and create a roadmap to discovering your passions. (And how to troubleshoot all the shoulds buts and ifs that will no doubt jump out at you along the way).

It’s the fastest track to fulfilment I know,

I’ll show you all the mistakes I made so you can speed through them and not waste as much time as I did.

As I mentioned, the Nail Your Values & Find Your (Bloody Elusive) Passion program is on like Donkey Kong!

In the course you’ll learn:

  • The Scooby Strategy for finding the REAL SLIM SHADY (you) and uncovering the fake you -how to differentiate what-you-really-want from all the SHOULDS.

  • Why our minds are “designed” in a way that prevents us from feeling happy and fulfilled (and what to do about it)
  • Why “follow your passion” is the most unhelpful quote to come out of InstaPinterestLand, and instead, actual strategies to find fulfillment that you can implement ASAP.
  • “Knee-jerk denial test” – An exercise to uncover your self-sabotaging identity, and how to spot it when it’s getting in your way.
  • “The Anti-Railroadisation technique” – How to stop yourself from getting railroaded by others’ expectations (quit your chronic people-pleasing habit and get confident in your decisions)
  • 20 Sherlock questions that will uncover what ACTUALLY matters to you

  • Why most goals are bollocks, and how to guarantee lasting fulfillment and happiness (even if you don’t end up achieving your goal)

  • “The Tea Strainer Technique” – How to identify the opportunities that are right for you (and spotting distractions disguised as opportunities so you stop accidentally barking up the wrong tree)

Keen as a bean?

Click here to check it out.

Pstt - enjoyed this blog post? Splendid news! If you fancy getting these snippets of self-deprecating radical honesty delivered freshly to your inbox moments(ish) after I take them out of the gluten free oven (every week or three-ish), subscribe over here.

I have an online workshop coming up (details TBC) called How to be Less of a Dick to Yourself (AKA Self Compassion for Sceptics)! I would love you to join us — It’s going to be bloody splendid! Click here to register your interest.

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