How to Come Together

How to Come Together

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Guest Post by Kim Anami

Coming together happens on a few levels.

When we are emotionally connected and open with each other, the orgasmic “coming together” happens easily.

When we are blocked and shut down toward each other, the distance prevents any kind of coming together.

In this scenario, a couple is living their lives on separate tracks. They wave to each other from their independent lanes, but their paths aren’t really intertwined.

There is little depth.

Little authentic connection.

And little orgasm. Certainly not quality orgasm.

Coming together is not some random, coincidental thing.

It’s the byproduct of a lot of groundwork; some of which you might think is only tangentially related.

Did you have a horrendous day at work?

Did you fully resolve the argument you got into at breakfast?

Do you have seemingly impossible schedules to reconcile?

The pathway to being so in tune with yourself and each other, that you can both feel into the moment to sexually climax at the same time, takes a lot of focus.

Most of it begins before you get into bed.

The relationships I’ve experienced (and seen)—with the most coming together have a few things in common:

1) We both valued and prioritized sex. We loved having sex.

We both thought it was important and worthy of spending a serious amount of time doing.

That could mean a whole evening, a whole day on the weekend, and spending many nights without sleep.

2) We were both open to learning new things. We were curious.

The bedroom became our lab.

To experiment. To take chances. To do things we hadn’t done before.

3) There was no judgment. Everything was open for discussion and open for experimentation. Our intimate lives were the place to bring all the pieces of ourselves, not just the pretty ones.

This applies emotionally and sexually:

everything is on the table.

Of course, “everything” is broad and boundaries are important. But underlying all interactions needs to be the premise that anything can emerge.

4) Commitment. In these relationships, we were both willing to try and commit to the process.

This could mean weeks devoted to a new activity (like deep throating) until it was mastered.

It could mean staying the course through a difficult conversation until we made it to the other side.

Like the study of anything, you have to put in the time and prove your worthiness before its internal secrets are revealed to you.

Put in the time.

All of these ideas help you to come together.

And I have a lot more tools for you. An Orgasmapedia, if you will.

Introducing:

Coming Together: Lifelong Passionate Sex for Couples

If you’ve been watching my video series, you know I’ve been talking about the power of intimate relationships. And how most people never harness it.

I’m going to show you how.

In a nutshell:

Improving the quality of your intimate relationship will make everything in your life run better: From money to health to your career and definitely your sex life.

Stagnation in your love life sucks every other piece of your life into it like a vortex.

It’s that simple.

Click here to check it out now.

I’ll be with you every step of the way to remove whatever is blocking you sexually, and set you up with a lifetime’s worth of tools for a well-f**ked life.

Where everything, and everyone, comes together.

From an attendee of the previous Well-F**ked Woman Salon:

“We’re having sex three times as often and feeling more loving and less stressed about sex in general. Amazeballs. Taking the salon is like having a sex ninja at your service. Listening to Kim is like reading 14 books, 3 how-to manuals, and the entire Shades of Grey trilogy.“

Take me now!

~ Kim xx

 

Keen to get your zest for Mondays back and learn to tame your mind in the funnest and least rainbow-and-butterfly way possible? Check out my 1-1 mind-taming program here!

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Gidday, I'm Andrea

I'm a mindfulness advisor and former cynical pessimist.

I used to be an awkward, pessimistic, mediocrely happy overachiever.

Life looked good on the outside, but on the inside things were average.

I was indecisive, I didn't know what to do with my life, I self-sabotaged the hell out of my relationships.

I had a feeling I was going to keep f-ing things up for myself unless something radical changed.

The life handbrake-turn that followed over the next few years came as the result of learning what I now teach in Bloody Good Life 101. Just practical, relatable techniques without any rainbow and butterfly jibber jabber.

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