Back in 2014 when I was single and not loving Tinder, lonely without many close friends, trying to get Project Self off the ground (and myself off the floor), my procrastination and overwhelm were off the charts.

I kicked myself for not being able to get more done everyday.

I couldn’t tell you how, but I seemed to be “busy” every day, yet nothing that needed to get done actually got done!

— I found myself staring into the fridge about 90 times a day, eating constantly for distraction.

Spending hours in the kitchen making homemade almond milk and vegan cauliflower pizzas, cleaning things that didn’t need cleaning… anything to avoid working on my business.

— Despite having a part time job, I had to get another part time job as a bartender — not just because I needed the extra money (I did), but because the overwhelm and panic a day off caused me was too intense.

— Every day was a snooze-til-later-than-late day, I could never hold a routine, and I would go to bed later and later (3am was common) and beat myself up about it next morning.

— I routinely found myself crying on the floor of my room because I was considering breaking up with the guy that I was casually seeing and I realised that if I did that I would hardly have any close friends to talk to in Melbourne, because I was still new to the city and didn’t feel like I’d made any deep friendships yet.

A year later, (and still going now almost a decade later!)

I work on Project Self full time, I wake up at a reasonable hour (mostly!), I meditate and do yoga or run/ walk / resistance train most days.

I love my work so much and get to work with so many incredible people and organisations to help them get unstuck and to manage difficult emotions.

I work when I’m inspired and take rest when I’m tired (without feeling guilty about it).

I routinely get so absorbed in my work for so long that I forget to eat or pee.

I have a wonderful Project Self team that I couldn’t do without.

I have beautiful supportive, fulfilling friendships, and the most wonderful Bloody Good Bloke to hold hands with.

Compared with where I was back in 2014, Christ, it’s a different landscape!

Not that I don’t still cry on the floor from time to time.

I do.

Just a lot less often. And with a lot more self compassion.

Nev still finds problems (it’s his full time job).

But I wish I could have told my crying-on-the-floor 2014 self that it would all be ok.

Hell, I wish I could have told my very unwell crying-on-the-floor 2022 that it would all be ok.

That it was going to work out, and it was going to get a lot easier.

That all the things I was going through were lessons that would make me stronger, kinder, wiser and more compassionate.

If you’re at a low point; struggling with indecision or lack of motivation; feeling isolated or a bit down…

Keep going, it’s going to get better.

You’re growing.

Growing sometimes hurts.

As Winston Churchill put it, “When you’re going through hell, keep going”

After every trough comes a peak.

(I wrote about that more here: When Tinder Burnt My Toast)

Here are my favourite quotes on the matter to inspire you for those times when you feel like you’re going backwards:

“When you dig a well, there’s no sign of water until you reach it, only rocks and dirt to move out of the way. When you have removed enough; soon the pure water will flow” – Buddha.

“Are you willing to feel temporarily uncomfortable so that you can accomplish something that is permanently amazing?” – Alexandra Franzen

“I’ve learned that at precisely those times when life seems to get worse, you may be getting ready to make a leap. When you feel like you are getting nowhere, stagnating, even slipping backward, what you’re actually doing is backing up to get a running start.” – Dan Millman

Keep taking steps forward, don’t sit in indecision and stuckness.

Take action in whatever small way you can. Do something tiny towards improving your life every week. It adds up.

Even when it feels like life keeps popping sand bags on your shoulders – it’s building up your strength so you can handle the challenges as you expand into a new version of you.

An arrow has to be pulled back before it flies.

You’ve got this.