When I arrived back from my 9 days away in Mullumbimby, I was excited to hang out with Bloody Good Chap after he finished work.

I’d really missed him while on my 9 day trip, and I was looking forward to us snuggling up to him on the couch and cooking dinner together. Well, him cooking and me chopping things.

I’m the dish pig to his Jamie Oliver.

The snuggling, especially as I’d just landed from sunny shorts-and-jandals Mullumbimby into 50kph icy winds in Melbourne.

Also, I was hangry. Goddamnit, I can never eat the delicious looking biscuity plane snacks. Bring on the coeliac vaccine.

As I made my way home, I texted BGC to check what time he’d be finishing work.

10pm, he replied.

Wha?? I replied.

Oh shit, he replied.

He’d forgotten to tell me that his shift had been changed. We’d no longer be able to hang out and have dinner.

I was so disappointed (tears even came to my eyes!).

It was a sign of how much my mind had slowed down during my trip away that I was able to laugh it off when BGC called me a few milliseconds later to apologise.

Even a couple of weeks ago, I reckon I would have blamed him for my disappointment and make sure he felt bad for letting me down for at least 30 minutes.

Even though he’d bought me gluten free sausage rolls in case I was hungry when I got home.

When our minds are at the wheel, they absolutely love to feel “wronged”, to cause drama, and to subtly punish others (especially our partners) for their muck ups, no matter how inconsequential they are.

Feeling wronged by someone makes our mind feel superior, and special, even if we aren’t consciously aware of it.

That’s just what minds do.

And that, my friends, is why taming our minds (and taking the time to slow down) is absolutely imperative for bloody good relationships.