Yesterday I ate three slices of bread, half a carrot and some nut butter straight from the jar for breakfast,
I was late for my waxing appointment, I went back to bed after seeing an early client this morning, and I was still working at 9.43pm at night to make sure I get everything done before I go away, but I already know I’ll be running around like a chicken on fire (or something) tomorrow because I’m the type of person who just NEVER manages to get shit done on time, no matter what the time.
Does my imperfection make you dislike me?
If I had written:
I’ve literally got The Best Life Ever, it’s definitely better than yours, I’m dating The Best Dude Ever (that bit is true actually), I’m so organised with my time I barely need to work, and good looking men fan me with palm fronds as I drink tea and coach clients from the beach; I just wanted to let you all know how great I am so that you realise you’ll never be this great.
Would you think I was awesome? Or would you think I was a dick?
“So much effort goes into trying to be the perfect person. But how much more attractive are the qualities of vulnerability and imperfection?”
My client sent me this Headspace quote just minutes after we got off a coaching call where we were talking about how we all spend all our time trying to look perfect, yet we know that in others we like it better when they’re not.
Headspace knew what we were thinking!
We often bitch about perfect people because they’re not relatable. If we’re not 100% self confident, their confidence and perfection makes us feel insecure.
We love when other people are honest and vulnerable.
You guys always tell me you appreciate how honest I am about my faults and shortcomings and (previously) Tinder dates and what not.
If I was over here telling you how f’n great my life was (like I used to when I was younger), you’d likely think I was a knob, and you probably wouldn’t read anything I write.
Yet when it comes to ourselves we’re striving to look perfect at all times, god forbid someone realise we’re human!?
It seems a common theme with my clients this week – we’ve had a number of different chats about parents who accidentally taught their kids that showing imperfections and negative emotions is a TERRIBLE idea. Our perfect facades are bred into us by our upbringing. Then we blame ourselves when we can’t manage to be positive 24/7.
This has lead to a society of people who are pretending to have it 100% together at all times.
Especially on social media. In the name of making sure people like us? Even though we know don’t like perfect people?
On that same note – a problem shared is a problem halved. I reckon that a problem internalised is a problem doubled. Thoughts have the tendency to seem a whole lot worse when they’re swirling round in your head. When you say them out loud they seem to lose power – in fact, they often don’t make as much sense out loud as they did in your head. Like a dream.
So let’s start being honest about our faults and worries.
No need to dwell in self pity or lump our problems on others without giving them the same support, but if you’re having a hard time, don’t have a hard time alone.
Never worry alone.
If you don’t have anyone you feel comfortable talking to about not having your shit together – get yourself a coach or any other kind of non-judging, non-biased listening professional.
Let me tell you- as a coach, I’ve coached some of the most outwardly positive, bubbly, go-getters I’ve ever met – and yet behind the scenes, NONE of them think they’ve got it all together.
