It’s my birthday and I’ll put a shrimp on the barbie if I want to!

It was only 18 months ago that I was nervous having a birthday party because I didn’t know if many people would come.

– I was finding myself crying on the floor of my room because I was considering breaking up with the guy that I was casually seeing and I realised that if I did that I would hardly have any close friends to talk to in Melbourne, because I was still kinda new to the city and didn’t feel like I’d made any really deep friendships yet – they were all still at ‘catch up for coffee’ level.

– I found myself staring into the fridge about 90 times a day, eating unbelievable amounts of food, spending hours in the kitchen making bliss balls and homemade almond milk and vegan cauliflower pizzas and doing the washing to avoid working on my business.

– My procrastination was out of hand, I couldn’t focus on one thing, and I kicked myself for not being able to get more done everyday. I couldn’t tell you how, but I seemed to be “busy” every day, yet nothing that needed to get done actually got done!

– Despite having a part time job, I had to get another part time job as a bartender – not because I needed the extra money, but because the overwhelm and panic a day off caused me was too intense, I had to keep myself super busy just to avoid it. And I felt isolated and wanted to meet more people.

(And working in a bar was on my bucket list after travelling. It was super fun. Though eventually the fact that I don’t like drinking much became pretty evident!)

– Every day was a snooze-til-later-than-late day, I could never hold a routine, and would go to bed later and later and beat myself up about it next morning.

A YEAR +  A BIT ON?

I work on Project Self full time, I’m booked out til next year and working on exciting new project, I’m -dream of all dreams – location independant!!!, I wake up early (welllll, sometimes), I have a routine (sort of), I meditate and do yoga or run/ walk most days, I work solidly throughout the day, I’m super productive despite being super busy; I sit and focus for so long that I forget to eat, I have the most AMAZING group of friends, a Bloody Good Chap to hold hands with, and stuff, and life is just unbelievably brilliant at the moment!!

It’s been a huge year!

I wish I could have told my crying-on-the floor self that it would turn out this way.

The point of me telling you this is to reassure you:

If you’re at a low point; struggling with indecision or lack of motivation; feeling isolated or a bit down…

Just keep cracking on. It’s always worth it. I’ve learnt it over and over now: After every trough comes a peak. (I wrote about that here)

HERE ARE MY FAVOURITE QUOTES ON THE MATTER:

“When you dig a well, there’s no sign of water until you reach it, only rocks and dirt to move out of the way. When you have removed enough; soon the pure water will flow” – Buddha.

“Are you willing to feel temporarily uncomfortable so that you can accomplish something that is permanently amazing?” – Alexandra Franzen

“I’ve learned that at precisely those times when life seems to get worse, you may be getting ready to make a leap. When you feel like you are getting nowhere, stagnating, even slipping backward, what you’re actually doing is backing up to get a running start.” – Dan Millman

Moral of the story: keep taking steps forward, don’t sit in indecision and stuckness, just do something towards your dream every day.

And then put a shrimp on the barbie.