When I first started Project Self it came to my attention that some of what I’d been writing had been misconstrued by old friends as me telling people that my way of living a bloody good life was better than theirs.

But it’s really only my former-self I want to tell these things to, and not everyone is my former self.

My intention with Project Self is to re-inspire people who do feel like something is missing from their life in the same way that I did. It is not to try to tell anyone that is already happy with their life that they should be doing anything differently. Though we can all always forever improve.

Forever. Always.

What I do know is that being insecure, shy, anxious, indecisive, and in a job or on a career path that feels dull is a very horrible place to be,

I was there only a few years ago, and I’m very passionate about showing people how to train the mind not to make life so bloody hard.

Because if I met my former self now, I’d tell her – Hey Andie, You know how you were looking for the answers? I found them! Do you want them? And she’d say, F off you arrogant knob. How dare you tell me you know how to live life better than I do. But deep down, she’d still be interested.

Because that which makes us most defensive is that which we know (deep down) to be true, even if we won’t admit it.

A few years ago one of my bosses planted a seed that changed my life.

He could see that I was suffering in the daily grind. I was crippled by the indecision of what to do with my life. I couldn’t control my moods and would be happy one day and an irritable bitch the next. I caused havoc in both my relationships with two very beautiful, patient, tolerant men, who I treated really badly.

He mentioned this thing called mindfulness, and bought me a book called the Power of Now. What hippy crap, I thought, but I also knew that he was a really successful, charismatic man, the kind of man people are drawn to because of his bubbliness and energy, and who had a beautiful wife who he was very much in love with after 10 years of marriage.

There was part of me that knew that I wasn’t ever going to be able to be that kind of person, I just wasn’t a positive, happy person, I was realistic. But there was just a tiny part of me that thought, how nice it would be to have that kind of life. And so, about a year later, I read the damn book with the stupid name. And to my surprise, it made sense to my logical brain.

There were parts of it that I skipped over because they didn’t fit in with what I believed to be true, but there were parts that made so much sense I couldn’t ignore them.

That guy, Cliff, planted a seed in my mind that life could maybe be better than it was.

I wasn’t ready to water the seed for a few years, but it just sat, dormant in my brain, waiting til I was ready to attend to it.

And eventually I did, and it slowly grew.

I fed it with knowledge, bit by bit, reading more about mindfulness and ways of training the mind to calm the f down and stop being so rude, and I started to meet people all over the world who knew what I was talking about and who taught me more.

So essentially, that’s what Project Self is all about.

I want to try and plant a few seeds, because I’m so infinitely grateful that Cliff did the same for me, even though most people would have looked at me like a stubborn, cynical lost cause.

I am really passionate about showing people that there are more versions of your life than you realise, and it’s up to you (and your ability to train your mind) as to which version you end up with.