50 Shades of wha?

50 Shades of wha?

Anyone who knows me knows I talk about sex a lot, so naturally I was very excited to see the 50 Shades of Grey movie when it came out. And naturally I dragged Bloody Good Chap along with me. It was our third date. (I knew he was a winner early on!)

Even though I’d been warned it was terrible, I figured at least there would be loads of sex.

But the terribleness of it surpassed (or underpassed?) my terrible expectations. There wasn’t even much sex! When it had just started to get going I joked, “imagine if this was the end, haha.” And then the credits rolled.

Surely no one went to see 50 Shades to see extended gliding and helicopter flight scenes?

In any case, terrible as the books (and movie) are, I’m grateful for what they have done to spur more open-minded mainstream conversations about sex.

We live in a culture dominated by sex –

it’s everywhere, on billboards, in songs, in music videos with naked women bound and hanging from the ceiling.

My teacher friend finds his 11 year old students watching porn on school camp and my much younger cousins knew more about sex than I did by the age of 8.

[bctt tweet=”Sex is everywhere, we’ve become desensitised to it.”]

Yet no one’s talking honestly about what to do, what we like, what we don’t like. I know far too many people who put up with mediocre sex because they’re too scared to ask for what they want. Because we’re not used to being open about it!

Which results in many young people drinking many beers just to get brave enough to have sex, and then never really learning or remembering any real skills and going through their sex life just winging it!

There are SO MANY resources out there on sex other than porn (which teaches dudes how to look good while giving their woman no pleasure whatsoever), I encourage you to explore!

Here are some of my favourites:

Kim Anami

Jacquelline Hellyer (her short e-books/ collated writings are great)

Layla Martin 

Nicole Daedone’s TED talk 

Orgasmic Meditation (OMing) 

And anything about Tantra and Taoism, who most of the above sex coaches based their work on. It’s mind blowing the depth of amazing stuff we don’t have a clue about!

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G'day, I'm Andrea

I'm a mindfulness facilitator and former cynical pessimist.

I used to be an awkward, pessimistic, overachiever.

Life looked good on the outside, but on the inside things were average.

I was indecisive, I didn't know what to do with my life, I self-sabotaged the hell out of my relationships.

I had a feeling I was going to keep f-ing things up for myself unless something radical changed.

The life handbrake-turn that followed over the next few years came as the result of learning what I now teach in my unconventional mind-taming program for indecisive overachievers - Bloody Good Life. Just practical, relatable techniques without any rainbow and butterfly jibber jabber.