5 Reasons Why You Are Not Having Vaginal Orgasms

5 Reasons Why You Are Not Having Vaginal Orgasms

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Guest post by  Kim Anami.


First off, let me say unequivocally, that EVERY woman is capable of deeper vaginal orgasms.

By that, I mean the G-Spot, AFE zone, and cervical orgasms.

These are the orgasms that change your life.

While the clitoris is fun and good for a laugh or a warmup, if you really want to harness the power of your sexual energy, you need to go deeper.

A few inches deeper.

These deeper, vaginal orgasms are like the Loch Ness Monsters of sexuality.

They are mysterious and subject to much skepticism and known only to some.

The reason why they elude many people, and especially laboratory analysis (though they’ve been sighted in some labs; mainly French, and not English), is because they involve far more than just technique.

In fact, I’d say that technique is less than 10% of what will take you there.

Here’s the other 90%:

1) You think you are “just one of those women who can’t.”

I’ve had women G-Spot orgasm just hours after telling them that they could.

Meaning, they’d previously bought into the untruth that “only some women can have G-Spot orgasms.”

Since they’d tried and failed before, they assumed they were in that category.

Then, they found me, and I told them that all women were able to have G-Spot orgasms (and all others).

Many of these women tried that very day. And they succeeded.

Because if you think you can, you can.

And if you think you can’t, you can’t.

Sometimes it’s that simple.

I guarantee that you can.

2) You have a hard time letting go.

The game-changing factor that separates the girls from the women (or the clitoris from the vagina) is the ability to open up, drop your guard, and surrender.

If you can’t do that, you won’t get there.

These deeper, internal orgasms call on the deeper, internal parts of you. Your vulnerability, your authentic self—they need to be present. You can’t hide behind a wall.

That’s why these orgasms are less likely to appear in casual sex situations. Or, if you have unresolved issues in the space between you and your partner.

If anything is holding you back, you won’t get there.

3) Your vagina is numb.

As I’ve mentioned before, most women have numb vaginas.

A numb vagina is the product of some kind of dissociation. This may be through sexual or emotional trauma, or simply by virtue of growing up in our sexually repressed and oppressed culture.

Few people make it out alive–or with feeling in their vaginas.

You have to re-cultivate it. And bring it back to life.

That’s what the Vaginal Kung Fu practice is all about: waking up the vagina and restoring sensation and feeling in it.

Once you have that back, it can function as it’s meant to: as a source of wisdom and power.

Oh yeah, and really deep, life-changing, immensely pleasurable orgasms.

4) You have to stay the course.

These deeper orgasms involve stamina. This is why I love them.

They push you to go further than you think you can, to surrender deeper than you think you can.

And then a little bit further.

You know when you work with a trainer at the gym, or a really challenging yoga teacher? And they don’t let you hide? They don’t let you cheat?

They push you to your edge and hold you there. Until you break.

In a good way.

Apply that to sex and your orgasm.

You let go a layer. And then another layer. And another layer.

And once you’ve peeled back enough layers of yourself, you’ll find truth.

You’ll find your orgasm.

This process has saved my life over the years—having a dependable place (besides the gym, and yoga, and wherever else I can find it) I can go to break myself. And to die.

They don’t call it “the little death” for nothing folks.

You have to earn it.

5) Your vagina is weak.

It follows that if your vagina is numb, it’s also weak.

While it’s possible that a woman could still have pleasure in her vagina, nearly all women lack vaginal strength.

What’s the barometer for a powerful vagina?

Can you shoot ping pong balls with your vagina? Or cause your man to ejaculate or not ejaculate with the articulation of your vagina alone?

If not, your vagina could use a workout routine.

How do you feel when your body is fit and strong?

You’re more confident and capable. You feel good inside your own skin. Your body is humming because, blood, oxygen, hormones and neurotransmitters—all the things you need to feel truly vibrant—are flowing optimally.

When your vagina is strong and supple, it is more responsive and can generate the friction needed to “rub up” against and squeeze whatever is inside it.

You’ll derive much more pleasure from the squeezing.

And so will your partner.

Want more vaginal truth?

Want to reconnect with and strengthen your vagina?

Kim Anami Vaginal Kung Fu Video series

Single or in a relationship—your vagina is your power source.

Learn how your vagina is the great attractor in your life.

Click here to view Kim’s free 3-part video series on Vaginal Kung Fu.

(Note, if the salon is currently open for registration, which it is once a year in Jan/Feb, you will instead be redirected to the VKF sales page where you’re still bound to learn a whole lot about things that will blow your mind!).

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For the last few months I’ve been writing a chapter in a co-authored book called Freedom by Design with some incredible authors from all over the world, and in a few weeks we’ll be coming together for The Freedom Summit, an online summit teaching you how to create more freedom in your life in all areas from mind to finances to location independence.

If you’re one of the first 1000 people to sign up for the free summit, you get access to my talk on How Not to Procrastinate, plus trainings from some incredible legends like Casey Fenton, the founder of CouchSurfing, AND you’ll also get a free copy of our new book!!

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Gidday, I'm Andrea

I'm a mindfulness advisor and former cynical pessimist.

I used to be an awkward, pessimistic, mediocrely happy overachiever.

Life looked good on the outside, but on the inside things were average.

I was indecisive, I didn't know what to do with my life, I self-sabotaged the hell out of my relationships.

I had a feeling I was going to keep f-ing things up for myself unless something radical changed.

The life handbrake-turn that followed over the next few years came as the result of learning what I now teach in Bloody Good Life 101. Just practical, relatable techniques without any rainbow and butterfly jibber jabber.