Why most goals are total bollocks

9 years ago I just felt lost, like a complete failure — other people seemed to know what they wanted from life, so why didn’t I?

If you’d asked me what my passion was back then, I would have made up some rubbish about blending the mathematical, practical side of architecture with the conceptual, creative side.

Which was really just my convoluted way of disguising that I had no bloody idea who I was nor what my passions were.

I knew that if I could just find my passion, I‘d feel more alive, less numb. I’d leap out of bed in the mornings rather than begrudgingly wrenching myself from my cosy duvet cave. And (surely!?) I’d be one of those magnetically charismatic, passion-fueled people I’d met before (rather than constantly worrying that I was boring.)

But the road to finding my passion turned out to be way more confusing and mountainous (like, Swiss Alp mountainous) than expected.

I nearly gave up approx 1,200,002 times.

I ignored so many clues along the way because I had no idea what I was looking for.

I was riddled with fear — of failure, of overwhelm, of what others would think of me.

And if I’m being honest, maybe even the fear of what finding my passion would mean for the life I’d so carefully constructed.

From working with thousands of people in a similar conundrum, I’ve realised that this is way more common than I once thought!

Most of us aren’t taught how to find our sense of self or how to get clear on what we value most.

(Pst – click here to sign up for a small handful of story-based emails like this one with tips on how to get clear on your direction by finding your values)

So we go looking outside ourselves, in jobs, partners, possessions, achievements, and status.

And without a clear sense of our internal values, we find ourselves funnelled into a life that looks kinda like the lives of everyone around us… even if we’re not really sure that’s the best option for us.

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now — no matter what you achieve, no matter what you acquire, the satisfaction is only short-lived.

Then we’re onto the next thing, constantly seeking pleasure and fulfilment through external things and other people.

And yet there’s still a part of us wondering is this it? Is THIS what I really want?

Who the Fruit Loop am I?

Then the enormity of those questions overwhelm us, so we put our head down again and keep jogging (always jogging!) along whichever marathon path we find ourselves on.

But the most important part of living a bloody good life is to know what a bloody good life means for YOU.

What really fulfils you.

You need a compass to help you find your way in your journey through life.

The compass is your gut instinct. And what we call “values” are the words we use to label the things our gut instinct feels strongly about (which is exactly why I’m always banging on about them!).

Your values are a powerful filter that you can use to narrow down those big, annoying as hell decisions so you can start living a life you PROPERLY thrive in.

By following my values I found my way (by way of a million zigs and a thousand zags) to the most epic, fulfilling life I could have imagined, where I originally wrote this post from a cafe overlooking one of my favourite beaches near Byron Bay, breakfast taco in one hand, keyboard (sort of) in the other.

Far too turmericy latte standing by (probably won’t drink it tbh – way too healthy tasting, yiiick!)

And more than anything I want to help you find your way through the brain fog, fear and expectations to find your own version of an epic life.

Because I know you’ve got something awesome in you that is well and truly fed up of staying hidden in the cobwebby corners of yourself.

After honing this process over 1000+ hours (yep, really!) with my hundreds of 1:1 clients, I’ve turned it into a program to help you get clear on your values, nail down the identity that’s keeping you stuck, and create a practical roadmap to discovering your passions.

(And how to silence all those shoulds, buts & ifs that will no doubt jump out at you along the way).

It’s the fastest track to fulfilment I know, allowing you to bypass all the mistakes I made, so you can save yourself from years of confusion!

Yep — the Nail Your Values & Find Your (Bloody Elusive) Passion program is on like Donkey Kong! (Click here to get on the list for the upcoming sale!)

And it’ll arm you with tried & tested tools like these, for getting as clear as countryside air:

  • The 20 Sherlock Questions that will uncover what ACTUALLY matters to you
  • How to sift what-you-really-want out from all those lumpy SHOULDS
  • The Tea Strainer Technique — How to identify the opportunities that are right for you (and avoid barking up all the wrong trees)
  • The Anti-Railroadisation technique — how to quit your chronic people-pleasing habit and get confident in your decisions
  • The reason why most goals are complete bollocks — and how to guarantee lasting fulfilment and happiness (even if you don’t end up achieving your goal)

Keen as a bean? Me too.

Click here to get on the list for the upcoming Passion & Values sale!

Here’s what Bradley from Ireland had to say about the program…

“I was struggling to be interested and passionate about anything. I’d been feeling generally pretty fed up. NYVP forced me to make some decisions and take action.

In helping me identify my values and passions, it has also helped me to remove pressure and add excitement back into my life! I absolutely LOVED this course.”

What to do when your mind gets stuck on rumination mode

What to do when your mind gets stuck on rumination mode

Last week I caught Neville becoming as repetitive as that time my dad gave my 16yo self a party pill and I talked a random guy’s ear off. “I’m sad.” Neville mourned. “So sad. So lonely. I miss BGC. I’m alone. Alooooone. Sad and alone. Alone and sad. So sad. And...

read more
How to freak out 12% less about COVID19

How to freak out 12% less about COVID19

Yesterday I walked around the botanical gardens at 10pm crying like a madzer. At a couple of points, I properly wailed. Luckily the track was empty. Like many of us, I’m scared. I’m fragile as a leaf. I’m losing most of my income, and all my business security. I’m...

read more