Sheesh, that's honest...

What to do with tricky emotions when they just keep coming back

Happiness & Fulfilment

Yesterday my tears joined in with the splish splashing of the shower.

Unlike other times I’ve felt pain, I allowed this pain to come, to wash over me and through me and out my eyes and down the drain. As I stood there engulfed in steam I suddenly had a moment of clarity:

Pain has to break us down so we can build ourselves back stronger.

Just like muscles.

I put on my stripy pajamas (yes, I look like a prisoner), and climbed into bed and allowed the pain to cry me to sleep.

I know Monsieur Pain (which in French actually means Mr Bread!? I hope he’s gluten free) has a message for me,

and I know I need to listen in order to learn.

When we go to the gym or do yoga or go for a run, we expect it to hurt a bit. We know by now that muscles have to break themselves down in order to rebuild themselves bigger and stronger.

If we did bicep curls with no resistance, and felt neutral, no pain, we’d know that we weren’t going to get any stronger.

The pain enables our muscles to grow.

Why then, when we experience emotional pain, don’t we automatically think “Oh, this is just me being broken down so I can be made stronger. Bring it on, pain!”?

In our emotional lives,

we flinch at the slightest sign of pain and try to get rid of it immediately.

Imagine if we treated emotional pain in the same way we treat muscular pain?

No pain, no gain.

The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.

Running is a pain in the ass. But it sure gives me a nice one.

Yep, I just googled fitness quotes. God they’re horrible.

What if we looked on emotional pain as a useful, necessary and even helpful tool for growth, rather than something to ruminate on, try to shove down, numb out with alcohol and drugs/ and more often than not make ourselves feel guilty for?

What if we treated our emotional health like we did our physical health –

what if we actively sought out ways to deconstruct our mind and emotions on a weekly basis so that we could continually build ourselves back up again?

We never expect the gym to be easy.

What if we started to embrace pain, knowing that it’s here to help us grow.

What if we stopped expecting life to be easy?

Because it never is for too long…

And maybe that’s the whole point?


Pstt - enjoyed this blog post? Splendid news! If you fancy getting these snippets of self-deprecating radical honesty delivered freshly to your inbox moments(ish) after I take them out of the gluten free oven (every week or three-ish), subscribe over here.

I have an online workshop coming up (details TBC) called How to be Less of a Dick to Yourself (AKA Self Compassion for Sceptics)! I would love you to join us — It’s going to be bloody splendid! Click here to register your interest.

Popular Posts:

Looking for anything in particular?

More bloody good blog posts...

How to stop a bad day in its tracks

Download the free bloody good g-book. Because we've all had enough of e-books

* Hotmail, MSN, Live and Outlook will often stop you receiving anything from us.
Please use an alternative email address if possible.