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What to do when you just really want your boyfriend to start buying you flowers again

What to do when you just really want your boyfriend to start buying you flowers again

On our second date BGC prepared a home cooked picnic with his My-Melbourne-Friends Famous sweet potato tuna cakes, but as it was raining a lake that day, he instead purchased a giant umbrella so he could walk me to our plan B mexican restaurant. He also bought me a bar of Pana Chocolate wrapped in…

What to do when your mind takes over with 5am tales of infidelity

What to do when your mind takes over with 5am tales of infidelity

This morning I woke up from a nightmare that BGC had just told me he’d slept with someone else. I turned to him sleeping next to me and wondered if I should hug him to calm myself down. He’s usually my go to for making me feel better when irrational emotions crop up. But then…

How to meet your sexy partner in crime, and other scary-as-hell things

How to meet your sexy partner in crime, and other scary-as-hell things

Four years ago, I had never dated before. I’d met my boyfriends at Uni and while travelling, no effort required. So when I moved off superyachts to try and live a “real life”, I freaked out. I wanted to meet a sexy partner in crime, but the idea of Tinder dating or going to bars…

What do to when “ummmm… hmphh” is your mind’s default response to sex

What do to when “ummmm… hmphh” is your mind’s default response to sex

Lately when I think about sex, my mind says “Ummmm… hmphh”. Even though I’ve done all these sex courses. Even though I read and talk so much about sex. Even though my sex life in the past 2 years is more phenomenal than it’s ever been in any other relationship, by quadruple. Even though I…

5 Reasons Why You Are Not Having Vaginal Orgasms

5 Reasons Why You Are Not Having Vaginal Orgasms

Image via Pinterest Guest post by  Kim Anami.   First off, let me say unequivocally, that EVERY woman is capable of deeper vaginal orgasms. By that, I mean the G-Spot, AFE zone, and cervical orgasms. These are the orgasms that change your life. While the clitoris is fun and good for a laugh or a…

Could you be more like Trump than you realise?

Could you be more like Trump than you realise?

Last night watching the crowds of women (and men) all over the world march for women’s rights brought me to tears. And then it brought me to anger. I wound up looking at many photos of smug lipped Trump while my mind visualised many a punching action. I was about to launch into a diatribe…

What to do when you bugger up your New Year’s resolution 14 hours in

What to do when you bugger up your New Year’s resolution 14 hours in

My New Year’s resolution to stop eating cheese failed only 14 hours into 2017 with a delicious cheddar-and-goats-cheese containing taco huddled around a camp table being rained on. I’ve eaten more cheese today, so it looks as though 2017 is going to continue to contain cheese even though it gives me eczema, dry skin and…

A 3 second trick to boost your mood

A 3 second trick to boost your mood

This morning I found myself biking behind a chick who was dressed like a legend. Awesome pencil stripe skirt, denim shirt tucked in at the waist, chunky clog heel things. I sped up my bike to further investigate her style. Then, as I passed her (her giant chunky clogs were impeding her speed and I…

What to do when your boyfriend stops holding hands with you

What to do when your boyfriend stops holding hands with you

Yesterday as I walked down the cobbled street in San Cristobal, I realised that BGC wasn’t reaching out to hold my hand like he normally does. Instead of just grabbing his hand, I let mine hang limply as Nev set to work figuring out the situation. BGC is a hand holding pro, so it’s very…

How to be a selflessly selfish b*%*

How to be a selflessly selfish b*%*

Yesterday I lay in bed wondering… does my work really mean anything? Am I being a selfish trout for focussing on such 1st world problems as bloody good lives, purpose finding and stress reducing? Is it selfish in general for us to focus on ourselves, our “Project Self”? Living in an age where for the…

What to do when your reaction is mountainously disproportionate to the molehill situation

What to do when your reaction is mountainously disproportionate to the molehill situation

This morning I woke up furious. I was furious about nothing in particular, and also everything, as far as I could tell. I lay in bed pretending to sleep stewing on how my new naturopath had made me fill in a 25 minute online health survey and then not read it before our session so…

A relationship-eggshell removing technique & an email to my ex-boyfriend

A relationship-eggshell removing technique & an email to my ex-boyfriend

I lay face up staring at the slats of the ceiling with a lump of gravel in my stomach. Was he going to break up with me? How could I fix it? I needed to write to him. “I know that I make you feel like you are walking on eggshells very often” I wrote….

A mindfulness game to help you stop questioning your mental energy into the ground

A mindfulness game to help you stop questioning your mental energy into the ground

I remember half opening one eye on a Tuesday morning and realising with knotty dread that it wasn’t the weekend yet. I eviled my boyfriend sleeping next to me, happily in love with his bar job, and edged my hand out into the cold to retrieve my iPhone. Then I lay there, knowing I’d be…

The NYN technique for preventing emotional take-overs & irrational meltdowns

The NYN technique for preventing emotional take-overs & irrational meltdowns

  A few months ago, I had my first ever major tantrum with Bloody Good Chap. On our way to breakfast we spent 10 minutes trying to get a photo of me laughing genuinely and casually against a white brick wall, you know how you do. I looked at the photos with disgust, I didn’t…

Questions to help you find your sense of self

Questions to help you find your sense of self

I have always been an achievement oriented, perfectionist, control freak of a human. I was consumed by my mission to gain status by getting scholarships, studying architecture, striving to always be top of my class and trying to pursue the life I thought would make me happy and fulfilled. Yet with every achievement I felt…

An encounter with US customs and a shouty lady

An encounter with US customs and a shouty lady

When I flew into the US on Friday, I was faced with 2 very fascinating humans. My experience inevitably began at LAX airport with predictably ridiculous customs queues. When I got to the front after a whole hour spent reading my book in one of 10 standstill lines being served by only two customs officers…

Is your gut saying “not this?”

Is your gut saying “not this?”

Chaps, after just 5 weeks at home, I’m off again, this time to San Diego and Huntington, to see my mate* Ecky Tolle! The minute Project Self became a full time location independant gig, I set off for Bali for two months. Then NZ for 2 months. Then Bali again for two months just a…

What do do when everthing feels a bit pointless

What do do when everthing feels a bit pointless

Today as I walked through Melbourne city I felt really hopeless. There were so many homeless people, so many people looking downcast, people fighting. Today my mind concluded that life is hard and sad, and that what I’m doing with Project Self is pointless. I jumped on a tram and then ruminated about the pointlessness…

How to edge yourself out of a downward worry spiral

How to edge yourself out of a downward worry spiral

This morning I woke up and squeezed a quick 15 minutes of worrying into my schedule. I just lay there starfished, aware that I was missing my yoga class in order to really dedicate myself to some solid worry. My mind flicked through a few of his latest favourite tracks, that potential client I talked…

How to make the moon your limit

How to make the moon your limit

Living on a superyacht I was around a lot of swearing; it became my norm and I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a string of words that might make another person keel over. I also strike up conversations about sex often, and I choose to hang out with people who are open and bluntly honest…

When you just want to stay in bed forever and not face anything ever

When you just want to stay in bed forever and not face anything ever

Today I just wanted to stay in bed forever and not face anything ever. But I had clients, so I had to wake up and face the music. I’ve been having the recurring feeling lately that I want to run away from my life, live in a small shack near the beach with no one…

How to lessen the Rice Bubbles fueled brain fog when you really just don’t have time to be Jamie Oliver.

How to lessen the Rice Bubbles fueled brain fog when you really just don’t have time to be Jamie Oliver.

I once went on a date with a guy who said “there’s no way you can convince me that what I eat affects my mood or energy.” He generally ate a tin of peaches for breakfast; pizza, curry or lasagne for lunch; and toast with beans, jam or Vegemite for dinner. Probably not that uncommon…

Electroencephalogrising my brain

Electroencephalogrising my brain

Today I had my brain electroencephalogrised to see if it works more awesomely than non-mindfulness practitioners, how cool is that!!? Part of it involved trying to remember a bunch of letters in my head while simultaneously being shocked mildly on my arm and having to notice when I was shocked twice in a row instead…

Might you be treating yourself like a quarry?

Might you be treating yourself like a quarry?

This morning I felt on top of the world. I decided to go for a quick walk to get outside in the beautiful chilly Melbourne sun before getting back to work. Along the walk I realised that my mind was not ok with how inspired I felt. During the walk I noticed myself trying to…

What if the metaphorical life carpet was ripped from under you?

What if the metaphorical life carpet was ripped from under you?

One day 7 years ago an idea flew up off the pavement and smacked me in the prefrontal cortex. “If everyone in the world that I knew suddenly died, and I lost everything I owned, would I still be who I currently was trying to be?” The answer was a bit of a shock to…

The solo traveller and digital nomad’s guide to Ubud, Bali

The solo traveller and digital nomad’s guide to Ubud, Bali

I’ve spent two 2 months stints living in Ubud as an in betweener (digital nomad, not fully mainstream, not fully hippie), and I get asked for recommendations by millions (maybe 20) people, so I’ve created this blog for anyone travelling to or considering travelling to Ubud or Bali, for holiday or for work, or both….

3 tricks to re-motivate yourself when you’ve been staring at the ceiling for too many minutes

3 tricks to re-motivate yourself when you’ve been staring at the ceiling for too many minutes

On Friday morning I woke up and stared at the ceiling for an unreasonable number of minutes. 20. I felt unmotivated, uninspired, and annoyed at myself for feeling unmotivated and uninspired. I got up and found a text from BGC: “Don’t forget, you’re in Bali, enjoy every last minute in paradise. People would probably trade…

How the police and a hypochondriac can teach you the most important thing you’ll ever learn

How the police and a hypochondriac can teach you the most important thing you’ll ever learn

Two weeks ago as I scootered past an Indonesian policeman he suddenly whistled at me to stop and demanded my licence. While he got out his notebook, I started my scooter up hastily and sped off, only to be met with scooters coming down the wrong side of the road, preventing me from escaping from…

How to re-find your sense of self amidst the digital age of sprinty-mind

How to re-find your sense of self amidst the digital age of sprinty-mind

Two couples sit on the couch next to me at my new favourite cafe overlooking rice paddies. They’re busy, they’re hashtagging. “Babe should I post this? It’s two monkeys. I’m gonna hashtag #hairy hashtag #scary hashtag #brothers” What do you think? It’s funny eh?” She agrees, not looking up from her iPhone, but makes suggestions…

How to find your direction (via the footsteps of my papier mache CV) – Part II

How to find your direction (via the footsteps of my papier mache CV) – Part II

4 years ago I saved up everything I could, cut down on the mojitos, and a few months later I…. quit the yachts and headed to Melbourne to set up a base and start studying. I bought a vitamix before I bought a bed, I was sleeping on the floor, but I could still make…

How to find your direction (via the footsteps of my papier mache CV) – Part I

How to find your direction (via the footsteps of my papier mache CV) – Part I

7 years ago I walked across the campus of University College Dublin, tears streaming down my face, on the phone to the guy I’d just recently fallen in love with. I had arrived in Ireland to study my Masters of Architecture and from the very first day I knew for sure that I had chosen…

How to stop those non-smiling people from taking over your mind

How to stop those non-smiling people from taking over your mind

Lately I’ve been feeling hurt and tantrummy at the number of people that I smile at who return my bright smile with a cold, dull eyed, nothing. I’ve realised I only really care when it’s females that don’t smile back, not males. Or maybe it’s that most dudes smile back, or at least don’t look…

How to open the doors into the padlocked room where your libido lives

How to open the doors into the padlocked room where your libido lives

Image via Pinterest I remember the day I realised it wasn’t normal that I had never come and had never even thought to try to make myself come. Ever. I was 20.     >> Click here to check out Kim Anami’s Well F&#ked Woman Salon <<   I sat around a dinner table at…

A rundown on being a digital nomad in Bali. Yea bro, it’s possible for you too.

A rundown on being a digital nomad in Bali. Yea bro, it’s possible for you too.

Golly gumdrops, look at the view from my house this month! I had to cut half my face off to fit in the amazingness of it! Probs should have avoided the face altogether, but you guys, you never click on stuff unless I’m in it. So here is the more wrinkly half of my face….

The scooter ceremony that Chuck-Norrised my attitude in half

The scooter ceremony that Chuck-Norrised my attitude in half

Today is a Balinese ceremony for scooters and cars, my host tells me. Sure enough, I find an ornate flax creation tied to my scooter today, with flowers stapled all over it. Out on the street nearly every scooter has an ornate decoration, and old beaten up trucks and cars have more flax and flowers…

Is Facebook stealing your mates?

Is Facebook stealing your mates?

In the past year I have started to accept the fact that many of my less-close friends and acquaintances tend not to ask me much about my life, or especially, Project Self. I can catch up with an old acquaintance and ask them about their job, partner, guinea pig, Auntie, and what they had for…

What to do when you wake up feeling randomly anxious

What to do when you wake up feeling randomly anxious

This morning I woke up feeling really anxious. So I lay and waited for my mind to remember why. And I waited. Nothing came. I scanned through the areas of my life… was there anything wrong with me and BGC? No? Anything stressful going on with Project Self? No. Friends? No. Family? No. Health? No….

Trying not to sprint away in the face of the “What do you do?”

Trying not to sprint away in the face of the “What do you do?”

When people ask me what I do or how Project Self is going I feel an overwhelming urge to shove socks in my ears and sprint away shouting “LA LA LA!” I feel far more comfortable telling people what I’m struggling with/ what’s tricky about life/ what I’m striving towards, whereas when I end up…

5 steps to stop Chuck Bassing your evenings into the ether

5 steps to stop Chuck Bassing your evenings into the ether

Lately I’ve been getting into bed alone, in Bali, with my phone and my computer, and watching old Gossip Girl episodes (I know, what the hell), Facetiming BGC, and then scrolling or Blair and Chuck Bassing my life into oblivion until 1-2am most nights. Then I wake up late feeling all groggy and anxious and…

How to quit salmoning around and get clap-hands-togethery about life

How to quit salmoning around and get clap-hands-togethery about life

For the last couple of weeks since Bloody Good Chap left I’ve been floundering a bit over here in Bali. I wanted to come here and relax and do just enough work to coach my lovely clients and group programs and keep my work ticking over while I take some semi downtime from my workaholic…

A day in the life of a digital semi-nomad in Bali

A day in the life of a digital semi-nomad in Bali

This morning as walked out of the shower in my apparently secluded, private villa in Ubud, a smiley toothless Balinese woman bumbled onto my balcony right in front of me to lay an offering by the front steps of my room. Not long later came a sneaky chicken that pecked up all the rice from…

A “should” is not a friend you want to have

A “should” is not a friend you want to have

Lately I’ve been really looking at my friendships and working out which ones bring us both value, and which ones are obligation/ feel-bad-if-we-don’t-catch-up friends. And I’m making little to absolutely zero effort to keep pushing the “should” catch ups. I’ve been working on it putting more energy into my HELL YES friends and less into…

How to backhand the guilt and take a break anyway

How to backhand the guilt and take a break anyway

Bloody Good Chap and I are on our way to Bali! Because my all-or-nothing, perfectionist self becomes a workaholic at the drop of a mindfulness-related hat, I have no choice but to force myself into situations where I HAVE to slow down, take a few breaths and lie the F down in a hammock because…

What to do when you fall off the wagon and you just can’t be arsed getting back on

What to do when you fall off the wagon and you just can’t be arsed getting back on

On Saturday came home from seeing friends and drank tea and ate biscuits on the couch while watching Gossip Girl reruns until 3.30am. Today I’m working from the aforementioned couch, dressed in Bloody Good Chap’s track pants (they’re even more giant and comfy than mine), a hoodie and even his giant socks, surrounded again by…

How not to make a pissed off mountain out of a miniscule mole hill.

How not to make a pissed off mountain out of a miniscule mole hill.

Today I was running late for a meeting, (that’s how I roll), jumped in an Uber, and somehow ended up being dropped off a 20 minute walk from where I needed to be. I was immediately pissed off. I hate being late even though I always am, and I felt time pressed today. I have…

An email to my ex boyfriend

An email to my ex boyfriend

I lay face up staring at the slats of the ceiling with a lump of gravel in my stomach. Was he going to break up with me? How could I fix it? I needed to write to him. “I know that I make you feel like you are walking on eggshells very often” I wrote….

The Teapot Trick for Making Decisions with Ease

The Teapot Trick for Making Decisions with Ease

Yesterday I stood in the toothpaste aisle, dithering about which one to choose. Natural? Fluoride? No fluoride? Delicious minty taste? Grrr. Then the same again in the chocolate aisle. I put a block of chocolate in my basket, walked to the end of the aisle, startled the kid behind me with a sharp U turn,…

what to do about unexpected mood swings

what to do about unexpected mood swings

Today I’m having one of those days where you start the day badly with one stressful email, and then mope around being unproductive and eating the wrong things and forgetting about all the good stuff you’ve been working on recently and all the people that keep telling you nice things. Instead you just sit at…

My first ever major tantrum with Bloody Good Chap

My first ever major tantrum with Bloody Good Chap

Yesterday I had my first ever major tantrum with Bloody Good Chap. On our way to breakfast we spent 10 minutes trying to get a photo of me laughing genuinely and casually against a white brick wall, you know how you do. I kept looking at the photos with disgust, I didn’t realise how obvious…

How to keep your mind and emotions on track

How to keep your mind and emotions on track

This morning as I was laying face down apparently focussing on the blanket pressing into my stomach (yoga), it struck me that our mind and emotions are the digestive system of our experiences. My teacher spoke about how when we eat a carrot, for example, our digestive system breaks it down and parts of that…

how to waste zero more minutes questioning yourself

how to waste zero more minutes questioning yourself

I remember half opening one eye on a Tuesday morning and realising with knotty dread that it wasn’t the weekend yet. I eviled my boyfriend sleeping next to me, happily in love with his bar job, and edged my hand out into the cold to retrieve my iPhone. Then I lay there, knowing I’d be…

I have the best life coach in the world

I have the best life coach in the world

I have the best life coach in the world. There is no way you could work with her and not end up with a bloody good life. Her listening skills, support, advice, encouragement and wisdom are second to none. She’s helped me through mountains of overwhelm, insecurity and anxiety; through some really tough times and…

What to do about a libido that’s gone on holiday

What to do about a libido that’s gone on holiday

Lately I’ve found myself not feeling bothered with sex. Like my libido packed it’s bags and said Nah bro, you’re working too hard, ain’t got no mental energy left for sexy time. Sorry BGC! It’s a weird conundrum. I’ve never had such good sex in my life. When you get to some of the heights…

How to be more like that legend that everyone wants to talk to

How to be more like that legend that everyone wants to talk to

Last night with three friends over for dinner I realised that every time I talk for more than 5 seconds, Neville is there in my head shouting “you’re talking for TOOO LONG!! You’re oversharing! No one cares!! Quick, DIVERT, ask someone a question!!” And then I go red, my eyes get all darty, and I…

How to handle jealousy like a boss

How to handle jealousy like a boss

Lately I’ve been trying to catch Bloody Good Chap checking out hot chicks, which there are no shortage of in Byron bay. I point them out to him in excitement, Hey look, do you think she’s hot? I get excited at the prospect of pang of a jealousy. I find it exciting, because it’s now…

A simple way to make your day

A simple way to make your day

Recently I cooked a full roast dinner to surprise BGC one night. It took HOURS and the gravy turned out like a scary slug. Tapioca starch does not = cornflour. Then when I de-tinfoiled my chicken with a flourish, he looked at me with a grin in his eyes. Andrea… is that chicken upside down?…

A 5 second random act of kindness

A 5 second random act of kindness

Can I ask you guys a 2 second favour that could radically change two awesome people’s lives forever? My Virtual Assistant Crystal is the reason A. I’m still alive and B. You guys get posts from me every day of the week. Crystal has worked her ass off for me for a year now, stayed…

Does anyone else freak out when they wear a dress?

Does anyone else freak out when they wear a dress?

Today I dressed up. Well, I wore a dress and my new sandals rather than my usual scruffy shorts, t-shirt, jandals. The special occasion: Bloody Good Chap’s arrival today in Byron Bay. As soon as I put the dress on, WOW did I want to get changed! I noticed myself look in the mirror and…

Is there more to life than this? I feel like I’m missing something

Is there more to life than this? I feel like I’m missing something

Last night as Bloody Good Chap was spooning me, I snuggled up to him and heard my mind say “enjoy this while it lasts, you’ll miss this.” This morning I woke up to the sound of a piano in my head, followed closely by Chris Martin’s voice. “Drinks on me, drinks on me, I was…

How to handle sexism and objectification

How to handle sexism and objectification

On Saturday I was lying on the beach reading when a surfer dude (yes, another one) came walking towards me. “Those dudes there are filming you” he warned. I looked around to discover two young surfer dudes filming my ass. I immediately felt sick. They were on their iPhone and about 15m away, and when…

G'day, I'm Andrea

I'm a mindfulness facilitator and former cynical pessimist.

I used to be an awkward, pessimistic, overachiever.

Life looked good on the outside, but on the inside things were average.

I was indecisive, I didn't know what to do with my life, I self-sabotaged the hell out of my relationships.

I had a feeling I was going to keep f-ing things up for myself unless something radical changed.

The life handbrake-turn that followed over the next few years came as the result of learning what I now teach in my unconventional mind-taming program for indecisive overachievers - Bloody Good Life. Just practical, relatable techniques without any rainbow and butterfly jibber jabber.