I remember half opening one eye on a Tuesday morning and realising with knotty dread that it wasn’t the weekend yet. I eviled my boyfriend sleeping next to me, happily in love with his bar job, and edged my hand out into the cold to retrieve my iPhone.
Then I lay there, knowing I’d be late for work, scrolling through faces that seemed so much happier than mine.
I knew I was wasting my life doing jobs that didn’t particularly excite me, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do instead.
Every time I thought about it I’d feel sick with anxiety at all the possibilities, and frustrated at myself that I couldn’t make a decision.
So I’d watch Grey’s Anatomy instead.
Then I’d feel guilty about procrastinating my life away. And then I’d wonder if I should have studied medicine instead of architecture. And so the spiral went.
My mind just kept bringing it back over and over. I wasted years thinking about how to change my career and how to be happier. And how to make people like me more. I was stuck in overthinking, treading water while I waited for the answer to come to me, but it never did, I got less clear the more I thought about it.
I’d lost my way somewhere amongst all the high achieving and people pleasing.
Cut to 6 years on and I woke up this morning with a tingly rush of
Some mornings, I literally can’t wait to get back to my desk, I have to force myself to get ready properly and eat like normal people do. I get off calls with clients and I feel alive in a way that I never thought was possible for a pessimist like me.
I still don’t love mornings, but that knotty dread and anxiety that used to follow me around in the background? It’s goneburgers. Whoever made up that saying?
Now that I don’t expend all my energy questioning myself and my every move, I have so much more to put into doing things that make me kick my heels together with glee. Like a leprechaun, but with a much less cool accent.
It took me many years of experimentation, research and travel to work it all out.
But in the end, what I found was a way of thinking and living that changed my ability to get clear on who I am and what I want.
I didn’t find what I wanted to do with my life initially, I found a way of living that helps anyone to find their own passion. A way for me (and everyone) to re-find “themselves”. And then it turned out that my passion is teaching other people these skills that changed my life and my “self,” so that they can change theirs too. And so was born Project Self.
I don’t question my sense of self now, no matter what I see others up to, I simply don’t care. Because I’m sure of me. Even when I don’t know the answers. I know I’ll know when I need to.
It’s hard to explain how bloody magical it feels to feel at peace no matter what happens.
To be sure. To be content.
And to be elated on a regular basis so much so that I jump up and down and squeal.
It’s something I never even knew I was missing until I found it.
And now I teach what I learnt in my mindfulness program for practical people, Bloody Good Life Online. I run it with legends like you all over the world, from the UK, NZ and Australia to Denmark, Malawi and the UAE.
I knew it was life changing for me, and now, with over 500 hours coaching perfectionist-hardworking-all-or-nothing-busy-people like me, I know it has the same life changing effect on everyone else too.
Don’t waste the years that I wasted.
If you feel like you’ve lost your way, you’re wondering what’s next, you’d love to be more clear on who you are and what you want so you can be the person you always wanted to be, if you question your decisions and get yourself stuck treading water because you’re just not sure, Bloody Good Life Online is for you.
Fast track yourself to a life of self-awareness, confidence in your decisions, a sense that you know who you are and what you want, and the ability to calmly manage stress and negative self-talk like a ninja.
Fast track your bloody good life with me.
How many more years will you let your mind hold you stuck while it convinces you: “I just need to think about it a bit more. I just need a bit. more. time.”
You don’t need more time. You need mind taming techniques.