Category Archives: Sex + Relationships

Salt-and-pepperise your sex-life

Salt-and-pepperise your sex-life

Image via Pinterest

It was around the age of 23 when I gave up on the idea that sex would ever feel as good as it looked like it could.

It always looked so fun in movies and on TV, but in reality, no matter how hard I or my partners tried, it felt “pretty good” at best. Nothing on the level of the passiony orgasmicness I had hoped I would experience, not even when I met incredible men who I fell very in love with.

I literally had no idea how to come until I began a long distance relationship with a dude I’d just fallen in love with while travelling in Europe.

It was very helpful material for my libido, but even with him, I still couldn’t come. It was only when I moved to Melbourne and enrolled in my first sexual self-development program online that I started to learn that there was WAY more to my sexuality than I could ever have imagined.

I was single

when I first signed up for Kim Anami’s Well F&%ed Woman course. I had only just started to go on dates, and it wasn’t long before Tinder rode in on a wave of weird-online-dating hesitation. I started to worry.

What if I started dating and the guys eventually got annoyed that I couldn’t come.

My worries became founded – I dated a guy for 6 months and I could tell he was so frustrated that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make me come. Eventually, he stopped trying so much.

I’d learnt by now from many male friends and partners that guys find it really hard when they can’t make their partner come.

They always tried not to let me see that they were disappointed, but the pressure was always there.

I felt broken,

I couldn’t understand why it was harder for me than it seemed to be for anyone else.

I had never considered the fact that as a control freak who likes to be in charge and take the reigns in daily life,

I was potentially pouring buckets of water on the flames of my own sex drive.

I had never considered that it would take some effort to build up my level of sexual desire and keep it simmering so that when I did have sex, I would be able to reach boiling point much more quickly.

I had never considered that being a female had meant that I’d endured a lifetime of subtle and not-so-subtle sexual objectification, repression, and harassment, not to mention overt sexual assaults, both minor and major, and that all of these things had built up layers and layers of protection around me

that had made me and my sex drive pretty numb.

I had never considered that I’d internalised the patriarchal idea that sexual women who wear short shorts and skirts are shameful and slutty. It unknowingly affected not just my sex life but my ability to be a powerful woman in society.

I had never considered that my turn on was MY responsibility.

It was an incredibly empowering moment the day I realised my turn on wasn’t at the mercy of the skills (or lack of) of my partner.

It was up to me.

I’m forever grateful that Kim Anami strode into my life with her shocking, no-holds-barred blog posts.

Kim taught me how to begin the process of undoing the layers of bollocks that I had wrapped around me.

She taught me how to get turned on by life, how not to rely on a partner for my libido, how to discover my sexuality in ways I’d never considered, and how to embrace the feminine side of myself that I’d shut down for my whole life.

Kim taught me how important it is to be honest in relationships, she taught me the glass clearing technique that BGC and I have found to be a total game changer both for our sex life and also the strength of our relationship.

Kim taught me that like everything else in life,

cultivating an epic sex life and relationship takes time and effort.

And she gave me the tools to do it.

My sex life with BGC is far beyond anything I ever imagined possible

back when I was 23 and feeling like my libido was a bit faulty.

And because we keep using the lifelong skills Kim taught us, our sex life just keeps getting better.

This is why I am so passionate about promoting Kim’s courses,

in case you, like me, find your sex life and your libido in need of a shake up.

The Well F%&ed Woman was the course that started it all for me.

I can’t recommend it more highly, it’s my favourite out of all Kim’s courses, and once a year I still revisit the modules for a burst of inspiration and turn on. (Lifetime access has never been so handy).

If you’re curious, head over here to check it out. With a 30 day money back guarantee, you’ve got nothing to lose and epic sex to gain!

Ps – FREE STUFF – if you sign up for WFW using the links in this post, I will A. think you’re awesome, and B. send you a login to my private bonus module titled “Sex & Mindfulness”

– Including: • The biggest revelations in my sex-journey and how they’ll enable you to build an amazing relationship from an entirely new perspective. • How “wearing the pants” might be interfering with your sex drive. • How to use sex as a mindfulness practice to get clear on your sense of self.

To be sent your private login: sign up for WFW using the links in this post and email me to let me know so I can send you your login when it’s ready! Hell yes!

What are you waiting for? Come. Do the course with me.  

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Gidday, I'm Andrea

I'm a mindfulness advisor and former cynical pessimist.

I used to be an awkward, pessimistic, mediocrely happy overachiever.

Life looked good on the outside, but on the inside things were average.

I was indecisive, I didn't know what to do with my life, I self-sabotaged the hell out of my relationships.

I had a feeling I was going to keep f-ing things up for myself unless something radical changed.

The life handbrake-turn that followed over the next few years came as the result of learning what I now teach in Bloody Good Life 101. Just practical, relatable techniques without any rainbow and butterfly jibber jabber.

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