Catastrophising

Catastrophising

Bloody Good Chap and I went to a footy game recently. Being at the footy is always such an odd experience, I tend to focus on the 8 million green referees running around the field throwing footballs backwards over their heads.

It’s a very entertaining game indeed!

But it always fascinates me, the vigour with which people shout instructions at the players.

You’d think they were professional coaches themselves – such certainty in their own opinions!

Earlier in the year I did an intensive three day self-development weekend thing called Landmark, which really kicks around your perspectives on yourself, and they gave this brilliant analogy about how most of us live our lives (in my own languge):

Most of us are sitting in the stands of our lives (in our mind), shouting at the players on the field (the physical us) “kick the f#kn ball you tosser”, and then getting really annoyed and frustrated when the players (ourself!) don’t do as we say.

We seem to live two lives – one in the game in our mind, and one in reality – and it annoys us deeply when we seem unable to merge our ideas with reality.

When we play out the game in our head theoretically, we usually predict a bad outcome so we decide not to run onto the field and get in the game.

Far safer over here on the couch.

Some call it “holding yourself back”. My Dad calls it “catastrophising” – which I think it brilliant.

We simulate all possible endings for any given action, and then decide it’s probably best to do f all instead of sticking our neck out.

But that doesn’t stop ourselves berating ourselves for not doing what we know we should/could do.

This is the difference between us normal people and elite athletes, entrepreneurs, and game-changers. They don’t sit around thinking about whether it’s a good idea to get in the game. They don’t wait to feel “ready” to act – they just run on the field and give it a good go.

Like anyone who’s ever done anything new, they initially suck. They fail and they win, again and again, until they fail less and win more.

Elite sports-people also aren’t doing it alone, they’ve got coaches to help them, train them, show them the things they can’t see themselves, and teach them their expertise so they don’t have to spend years working out the strategies themselves.

People who win in life aren't doing it alone either. Click To Tweet

Until you get into the game yourself, you have no idea how to play it. No amount of theorising will get you a bloody good life. Only getting in the game and giving it your best shot will do that.

Stop trying to work it all out in your head before you act.

Eyes on the ball! Unlike me in this photo here.

Run onto the field and get in the game, don’t wait for the perfect strategy for your life - it’s never coming. Click To TweetAccept it. And then kick the f#kn ball anyway!

If you can’t quite work out how to kick the f#kn ball (of life, that is) – let’s chat. It’s my specialty.

Irrelevant side note – would you believe, alongside all the chips and burgers, they now have a “healthier choices” food bar at the footy stadium now (it’s actually called that – fair play to them for trying). It involves such “healthy” options as gluten free pies.

Keen to get your zest for Mondays back and learn to tame your mind in the funnest and least rainbow-and-butterfly way possible? Check out my 1-1 mind-taming program here!

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Gidday, I'm Andrea

I'm a mindfulness advisor and former cynical pessimist.

I used to be an awkward, pessimistic, mediocrely happy overachiever.

Life looked good on the outside, but on the inside things were average.

I was indecisive, I didn't know what to do with my life, I self-sabotaged the hell out of my relationships.

I had a feeling I was going to keep f-ing things up for myself unless something radical changed.

The life handbrake-turn that followed over the next few years came as the result of learning what I now teach in Bloody Good Life 101. Just practical, relatable techniques without any rainbow and butterfly jibber jabber.

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