Babies – what to do when you just don’t know?

Babies – what to do when you just don’t know?

Last week I held my oldest friend’s 24 hour old baby for the first time. I’ve never seen such miniscule fingernails!

The little dude is soooooo cute, and I loved it, even though he peed on me, but it still didn’t make me feel the urge to have one of my own one day. And my bicep got sore from holding him.

Probably because I have no bicep.

I’ve been wondering about this lately, as I near the age where females seem to start freaking out about clocking ticks, or whatever, because as far as I can tell, my urges to have kids are getting weaker, not stronger.

Frankly, small people scare the bejaysus out of me.

They always did, when I was younger, because young people have the tact of a blunt nail; they announce your faults, the ones that you try to hide as a teenager. They can smell insecurity, and they play with it. So me and kids never got along – I would leave the fun older cousin duties to my brother while he played with the small drunk people.

Bloody Good Chap and I call children small drunk people. Click To Tweet

Because they pretty much are, right. They run around shouting, doing what they want, and acting on their every whim and emotion. Actually, they act how we’d act if we didn’t have a mind telling us to tone it down for fear of judgement.

Anyway, so, I’m sure I’m not the only one with this conundrum.

I have many clients who are mothers, and though they all love their kids to bits, they all feel time poor, busy, rushed, and never have time for themselves.

I just don’t think I can handle that jandal. I can barely manage to feed myself three meals a day. In fact I can’t – that’s why I hired Bloody Good Chap to be my boyfriend.

I put an ad on Tinder –

“Blonde female requires nice, handsome, fun, intelligent man to cook me dinners so that I stop eating gluten free weetbix instead of meals”

But, as usual, I digress, again.

Probably because I don’t think I have a point to this post yet.

The point is, should we all be mothers? Or are some people better to just be like Dr Libby and not have kids so that they can change the world for generations of mothers and children instead?

(Dr Libby said in one of her talks that she’d chosen not to have kids (for now at least) because she wouldn’t be able to be an awesome mum as well as doing what she currently does (changing the world) and give it both 100%. It really stuck with me).

We only have 100%.

I know many of my mum clients are trying to do it all. 100% to the kids, 100% to the husband, 100% to starting a business, which leaves approximately 0.000% left for themselves.

I personally think all mums are total superheroes.

No, autocorrect, not moms.

I’m just not sure I want to be one. Maybe that will change. But for now it’s an unclosed tab in my too-many-tabs mind.

I wanted to write about it, A to freak out mine and BGC’s moms (just joking), and B to give a voice to those of us that are watching everyone else get hitched and babied up and thinking fffffffffff?!

Do I want to join in? Or do I really just not? And is that ok?

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Gidday, I'm Andrea

I'm a mindfulness advisor and former cynical pessimist.

I used to be an awkward, pessimistic, mediocrely happy overachiever.

Life looked good on the outside, but on the inside things were average.

I was indecisive, I didn't know what to do with my life, I self-sabotaged the hell out of my relationships.

I had a feeling I was going to keep f-ing things up for myself unless something radical changed.

The life handbrake-turn that followed over the next few years came as the result of learning what I now teach in Bloody Good Life 101. Just practical, relatable techniques without any rainbow and butterfly jibber jabber.

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